"Pass the Loon"

Hear the mighty loon call as it gracefully meanders its way to me. Thank you, loon, for giving me the right of passage to share my own testimony about conglomerations (in general). [Insert sound of boisterous knocking]. Inspired by Ashley White’s thought-provoking “testimony,” I too have felt the dampness of conglomerate’s saliva (in real life, despite the comical tone). Now if this was the “Sound of Music,” I would break out into, “Let’s start at the very beginning; a very good place to start.” Well then, my papa was born on a hot day in July…or maybe I’ll cut to the chase. The year of 1989 brought about a job at a small, privately owned company that designs software applications for other companies, like Heinz and Planters for example. So what’s the big deal? Because my dad’s company’s livelihood depends upon their client’s steady employment of their software, it matters a whole lot on what that business decides to do with its future. When they are called by Darth Vader to the “dark side,” will they accept? What does this mean for my papa? Consider the saga of Clairol (under Bristol-Myers Squibb) and Gillette (a partnership with Bristol-Myers Squibb). In a galaxy far, far away, the aforementioned companies used the software, but alas, were pulled in (darn tractor beams) to the conglomeration known as Procter and Gamble. Now it’s up to Procter and Gamble to decide if they will continue to use the software that came with Gillette and Clairol. Either the company loses two clients, or they score big with Procter and Gamble, which owns such household favorites like Swiffer, Foldgers, Tide, Comet, Charmin (commence cha-cha bears), Bounty (God bless that quilted-quicker-picker-upper), and you get the idea. Ah…conglomerations. What a double-edged sword.
Now go forth, ye loon, into other waters.